For working parents ...

Don't you ever feel that guilt when going to work in the morning?

You spend all day trying to earn a living to pay for bills and earn your keep, when all you dream about is to stay home with your children. It's hard, but how much of a choice do parents really have in today's Society? One wage is better than nothing, two wages are better than one; especially when living in metropolis where costs of living are exorbitant and inflation rate are always higher than wage growth.

It can be quite depressing at times and feeling that guilt is not surprising but at least in some ways, there is hope. Having a work nowadays is a gem to be cherished, as unfortunately many struggle with unemployment.

For your little ones, who break your heart when they ask you to stay with them as you step a foot outside, sometimes simply explaining why it's important that mummy and daddy work is a way to help them understand. But not exclusively, it also set a good example, parents are their children's role model and the fact that they see you work hard would make them want to work hard too.

It's key to point out that, depending on where you live and your country' laws, there could be possibilities for flexi-working which would enable you to either work from home or arrange a flexible work pattern so that you make your work-life balance better for you and your family.

So, in a way, there is always a bright side to everything and sometimes we just need to stop and think about what  "our" bright side is? Having said that, dreaming of that golden winning lottery ticket is perfectly normal!!

Spread the word...Share your tips...

Written by Lilliane Rosse, Author of Kiss of Thorns available on Amazon Kindle and Kobo Epub

http://www.amazon.com/kindle-store/dp/B00CUN9T3O
http://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle/dp/B00CUN9T3O
http://store.kobobooks.com/en-gb/books/Kiss-of-Thorns/aYZZ_WctmU6Dd9trDxrepA

Are cougars cool?

At least that's what the media are trying to let us believe by showing off all these celebs going out with younger men!

I was reading an article, in a feminine magazine, about a grey haired so called "cool & fashionable" divorced mother who was dating a man, as young as her 20 years' younger daughter.
When interviewed and asked about what she thought about her mother's boyfriend, the daughter, although mentioning it felt funny at first to see her mother kissing someone who could have been her university mate, stated that all that counted was her mother's happiness.

Let's bear in mind that, at the end of the article, it also mentioned that the mother had inherited a huge fortune from the divorce settlement and that she used to pamper her daughter with luxurious holidays and cars...And that's when I understood that the daughter was being "bought", which shed a light as per why she was in such agreement of her mother's lifestyle!

I've always been intrigued by what was going on in the mind of these women in their forties/ fifties dating younger men. These cougars represent the Society pretty well though;
      

• Aren't they being Shallow? If all they seek in life is to show off at the arms of a young & sexy boyfriend? What statement are they trying to make? that their life is fully accomplished...of sexual activity?!

• Aren't they being Selfish? Surely they aren't thinking about the young man's future, what future can he have with a twenty years older lady? 

• Aren't they disregarding their own daughters? Are they trying to say "well, you might be young and beautiful, but he chose me over you?!"

It is difficult to believe that these cougars are in love of these younger men, especially when they already had their first love (many years earlier). I am not saying that divorced women shouldn't redo their lives, what I'm querying is; why can't they just find someone their own age?

In my novel, Kiss of Thorns, the mother of the main character keeps on dating younger men, not one, not two, many ..  It is hard for her daughter to seek refuge from her mother's promiscuous lifestyle, especially when manipulation and emotional blackmail are her mother's deadly weapons.

Share the words. Many young adults and even older ones are victim of emotional abuse & blackmailing from their parents, family members or even friends. It isn't a fate. Freeing oneself from a toxic relationship isn't easy but possible.

Article written by Lilliane Rosse, Author of Kiss of Thorns (Ebook available on Kindle format Amazon or Epub format on KOBO)

Available Amazon.co.uk, .com, .it, .fr, .es, .ge
AMAZON UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Kiss-of-Thorns-ebook/dp/B00CUN9T3O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375947224&sr=8-1&keywords=kiss+of+thorns
 
AMAZON COM http://www.amazon.com/Kiss-of-Thorns-ebook/dp/B00CUN9T3O/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1375947342&sr=8-1&keywords=kiss+of+thorns

KOBO:
http://store.kobobooks.com/en-US/ebook/kiss-of-thorns

WHSMITH:
http://www.whsmith.co.uk/eProducts/Kiss-of-Thorns+eBook+KB00106479767

Say NO to discrimination

When will we see a world where we can all live together without any discrimination?

When you're a child you tend to live in a bubble, in "your world", surrounded with family & friends; and if you parents do not encourage you to learn about other countries and cultures, well... you can easily grow-up and become close-minded, especially if by nature you are not a very curious person.

One would think that children are curious and eager to know about the world, at least that's how it was back in the time; children wanted to become explorers, adventurers...Instead in nowadays' Society, values have changed so much, than many youngsters are actually so comfortable that they prefer not to be disturbed and instead continue their lives in their own environment.

How can cultural interaction happen if one stays within its community? Teaching communitarian lifestyle isn't going to help fight against discrimination on the long term.

Some people complain that they are not integrated well, yet they do not actively seek to interact with people who aren't from the same countries or religion. One shouldn't complain if he doesn't make an effort. Of course it's a vicious circle.... when one doesn't feel integrated, he doesn't feel like making an effort. But when there are two parties, what ever the situation is, if one doesn't make an effort and the first step in stone, then never anything will be resolved.

Parents have an active role to play here, ensuring their children grow up with an open mind. Encouraging your children to play and interact with others from different cultures and origins would help them grow with the acceptance of others in their mind.

As a parent, whenever you get a chance to make your child interact with another child from an other country, I would encourage you to cultivate this habit.
As a young adult, I'd encourage you to travel. Visit other countries, live abroad for sometime, get to know other cultures and always keep an open mind.

But most importantly let's remember, both parents & young adults, we are all human wherever we come from, we all have red blood in our veins... no exception we are all the same.

Written by Lilliane Rosse, Author of Kiss of Thorns, available on Ebook:

Amazon.com Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/kindle-store/dp/B00CUN9T3O#_
Amazon.co.uk Kindle: http://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle/dp/B00CUN9T3O
WHSmith: http://www.whsmith.co.uk/eProducts/Kiss-of-Thorns+eBook+KB00106479767
Kobo:http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Kiss-of-Thorns/book-aYZZ_WctmU6Dd9trDxrepA/page1.html

What values are we teaching our children?

Human behaviours are so interesting to observe, we are so selfish and individualistic that it is almost scary! Why? why are we only thinking about our interest first? all the time? And why are human beings never totally satisfied?

Have you noticed how we are never completely happy, even if we got what we wanted for so long ...we want more? 

That promotion at work you fought for .... you got it and then not even a year later you want an other one?
That guy you've been dreaming about... you're finally with him and after only couple of weeks you're bored?
That bag you got crazy for ... you saved enough  to buy it and then .. after couple of months it's been thrown at the back end of your drawer?

Does that resonate with you? Don't you think this is wrong? What are we, adults & parents going to teach our kids if we act like this? Like immature children?
Shouldn't we learn about patience and appreciation, shouldn't we cultivate the values of hard working? I'll admit that it's not that easy to do, especially when EVERYTHING you watch on TV is fake. Kids grow up thinking they can get it all now! It's so wrong.

If the society we live and the media around us are deceiving us and our children, making them believe that they can become the next pop star, the next footballer or the next tycoon in only 3 months (the time of a TV show!), well let's get real and WAKE UP.

We, the parents have a crucial role to play. We need to teach our children about hard working, about respect, about earning things. When I see these young adults around 20 years old who they believe they know it all and totally disrespect their bosses at work, well there is definitely a problem. But really I don't blame these kids ... they just got carried away by their environment, who I blame is their parents, who didn't have the courage to tell their kids the truth.

Let's not deceive our children by letting them think they are the best, because they would get hurt and if they are not taught to deal with failure, they are going to become wrecks. Not just physical ones, but mostly emotional ones.....

From Lilliane Rosse, Author of Kiss of Thorns, available as Ebook on Amazon Kindle, Kobo and on WHSmith. In Kiss of Thorns, I explore values that parents teach or don't teach their children.

Amazon.com Kindle: http://www.amazon.com/kindle-store/dp/B00CUN9T3O#_
Amazon.co.uk Kindle: http://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle/dp/B00CUN9T3O
Kobo:http: //www.kobobooks.com/search/search.html?q=kiss+of+thorns
WHSmith: http://www.whsmith.co.uk/eProducts/Kiss-of-Thorns+eBook+KB00106479767

Everyday parental life: My "Charity & Associations" Page Review

Everyday parental life: My "Charity & Associations" Page Review: I surely do not have the funds I wish to support all the charities I would love to, but I have my tiny share of voice, in this vast world wi...

Respect your children's choice of partner

Years ago one couldn't get married with someone from a lower social status. Rich married rich and poor stayed amongst themselves. People were discriminated against because of their social status...well... I say "years ago" but this actually still happens nowadays...

We see celebs marrying celebs, and the rest of us, well..., we stay amongst ourselves!
If we purely only talk about "social status" and by that I mean "income" then we could fairly say that things have slightly moved on for the better. It is possible today to find couples where one earns considerably more than the other one... and it's great to see that money isn't anymore a criteria for selection.
This is not always the case though ... I know some girls who have a "checklist" before finding the right partner ... and in the "checklist" money has to get a GOOD fat tick! well ... society is getting shallower by the day hence I'm not that surprised that money is key for some.

Back to "why people had to marry within the same social status years ago"? Mostly not to make the family ashamed! Did I say the "family"? Yes I did!

As a young girl I always thought that family members were loving and caring about your feelings. By loving I mean that they would accept what ever makes you happy. And the choice of a partner would of course be one key aspect of your life, if not the most important aspect of your life, that makes you happy! right?
Well, growing up ... I got a shock! I did because I came to understand that actually family members (of course not everyone's family members ... let's not generalise, but many) didn't really look after your own happiness, but instead they looked after their own one.

What do I mean by "their own happiness"? I mean that, being foremost human beings, family members can be extremely selfish!

Haven't you noticed how easy it is to introduce to your parents someone "like you", who lives across the street? Oh yes parents love that ... they know you're not far from them and they can still keep an eye on you!
 
But as soon as you fall in love with someone who isn't "like you" it becomes a massive issue for the family...

"you know he's isn't from around here, he doesn't understand our culture..." "multi-cultural & inter-racial marriage never works" "You're doing a huge mistake, you'll suffer it later" bla bla bla ... oh yes! I'm sure some of you recognize these words...

These days, if your partner isn't richer than you, your family and friends still find a way to accept him or her, but as soon as you come along with someone from a different country, a different religion or dare I say different skin tone then the whole headache of having to explain yourself over and over again to your so called "loving" and "caring" parents & friends starts.

Discrimination has actually never been so alive.
In 2013 it is just shameful.
People should be free to marry whoever they want and makes them happy. Who are we, as parent, to tell our grown-up kids not to marry someone because we do not like the "look" and "origin" of him/her?

Children shouldn't be at the mercy of their parents, just because they are "The" parents. Of course I would always advise children (small and adults) to respect their parents especially if they are good people, but I think it's also time to tell parents that they should start respecting their grown-up children. And this starts by respecting their children's choice of a partner.


By Lilliane Rosse, Author of "Kiss of Thorns" - available on kindle and kobo format.

A bit more insight about my passion for writing!

A little more insight into my passion for writing

1.       What inspired me to write “Kiss of Thorns”?

“Sometimes when we think of emotional abuse we only think of children. But what we tend to forget is that children are the adults of tomorrow. A lot of adults today have been and are still victims of emotional abuse/blackmail. Some have managed to rise above it and some seem not to have been able to rise above it due to their current circumstances. For example some may be tied to their "emotional abuser" because of financial needs, they are co-dependant financially.

The sad thing is sometimes our abusers are those we spend the most time with: family members, work

colleagues, friends or partners etc... Kiss of Thorns brings to light the silent suffering from emotionally abused children and adults."

 

2.       How did I come up with the title?

 

“One tends to think that when he or she gets kissed is because he or she is loved. In Kiss of Thorns the opposite’s senses and feelings are highlighted: “Kiss” is soft and pleasant whilst “Thorn” is spiky and painful, this is because the mother’s main character, who should be a loving and caring mother reveals herself as being selfish and wicked.”

 

3.       When did I start writing?

 

“I’ve always enjoyed writing, when I was a little girl I used to keep my secret diary right under my pillow so that no one could touch it while I slept! As I grew older I kept on reading all over again all those school stories that kept me well busy!”

 

4.       Anything else I'd love to let you know?

“This story sheds a light into dark places, it’s an eye opener highlighting the extent that abusive parents are ready to go. At the same time, it’s a message for hope showing that there is always a way out for those who’ve suffered from emotional blackmail and abuse” 

 Ebook ERetail LINKS:

 

“Kiss of Thorns”by Lilliane Rosse available as Ebook on amazon kindle or kobo  

AMAZON.COM: http://www.amazon.com/kindle-store/dp/B00CUN9T3O

AMAZON.CO.UK: http://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle/dp/B00CUN9T3O#_

KOBO.COM: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Kiss-of-Thorns/book-aYZZ_WctmU6Dd9trDxrepA/page1.html
WHSMITH: http://www.whsmith.co.uk/eProducts/Kiss-of-Thorns+eBook+KB00106479767
 

 

 

EMOTIONAL ABUSE AWARENESS

HELP ME RAISE AWARENESS OF WHAT EMOTIONALLY ABUSED CHILDREN & ADULTS GO THROUGH

 

 

UNTIL 6TH of JUNE - KISS OF THORNS ONLY AT $1.16 (£0.77)

MAKE IT YOUR SUMMER READING! 

"Kiss of Thorns" is an extraordinary story of what an emotionally and physically abused girl had to go through. After years of torment by her own mother, she finally finds freedom after moving to London where she falls in love. When she finally thought that she was free from her mother's emotional blackmail, her mother starts to reel her back pulling all the stops...

Sometimes when we think of emotional abuse we only think of children. But what we tend to forget is that children are the adults of tomorrow. A lot of adults today have been and are still victims of emotional abuse/blackmail. Some have managed to rise above it and some seem not to have been able to rise above it due to their current circumstances. For example some may be tied to their "emotional abuser" because of financial needs, they are co-dependant financially.

The sad thing is sometimes our abusers are those we spend the most time with: family members, work colleagues, friends or partners etc...

Available on Amazon Kindle and Kobo (if you do not have an Ereader, you can also download the Kindle or Kobo App on your tablet or smartphone)

GRAB A BARGAIN AT AN AMAZING PRICE!!

Kindle Amazon.com: http://www.amazon.com/kindle-store/dp/B00CUN9T3O
Kindle Amazon.co.uk http://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle/dp/B00CUN9T3O


"Customers' reviews from Amazon

5.0 out of 5 stars Definitely an eye opener. Watch out for wicked parents! 10 Jun 2013

By Tichi_London

I read this book in less than 24hours, so much I was hooked up. Suspense is kept at quite a high pace and this is written with so much emotion that you could almost believe this actually took place. But the story line is so intricate that you would never believe if someone told you this could be true. In this story, family relationships are looked at from a very particular angle and this is what makes this book so interesting. The scenario features great world famous cities of Paris and London. I would recommend this for whoever likes to read books with urban backgrounds and intimate details of human life."

"5.0 out of 5 stars Surprising, disturbing, revealing May 21, 2013

By Kaj

Amazon Verified Purchase

This book reads like the diary of a young girl who has been through some very difficult times. Often disturbing, it makes you think about morality, relationships, race and family ties. I'd recommend this to anyone who has had to deal the mental illnesses of a family member or close friend"

Everyday parental life: My favourite children activities

Everyday parental life: My favourite children activities: Sadly this year, many days looked like that in London... What do you do with your little ones on a rainy day? Share your tips below ...

Childcare is a financial struggle

When the average cost of a nursery across London, UK, is £60 a day hence £300 a week, no wonder why the average income family struggles. That's £1300 a month, £15 600 NET a year! Add on top of that your rent & bill costs ... not much is left to eat... I don't even dare mentioning "enjoy ourselves or provide fun activities for our little ones"...

Many of our European counterparts have governement subsidised systems, where families get to pay for childcare according to their income levels. That seems a much fairer way, doesn't it?

No wonder why many parents in the UK have to rely on their parents (the grand-parents) to keep their little ones whilst they are at work... But with the retirement age getting older and older even grand-parents won't be available anymore to stay with their grand-children! They will have to stay at work...

But for me the main question remains, why should parents have rely on their parents (the grand-parents) to keep their little ones? Of course it's great if the grand-parents are kind (and available...). Nowdays grand-parents are busy, either still working or enjoying their well deserved retirement life.

And what if the grand-parents live far away? Many young families move to the city for work and do not have their parents next door to help out with the children...

And what about those who just don't want to rely on family members to keep their little ones...afterall not all grand-parents have good intentions. Some use the fact they have been keeping the grand-children as a reason to have greater control over their own children...

Children, when becoming adults and parents should be able to be totally independant and autonomous.

More should be done to help young families cope with the raising costs of childcare. Companies' vouchers are a good start, but surely not enough to cope financially... It's the public responsability to raise childcare costs issues to their local MPs so that the topic gets further discussed and that solutions are found. Maybe not for us, right now, but for all the young families to come ....

What do you do when you have been emotionally abused by your parent? And the same parent takes you to a family court to ask for grandparental rights?

Check out my 1st novel called Kiss of Thorns, by Lilliane Rosse, available on Amazon Kindle and Kobo.

Synopsis:
Seventeen-year-old Sarah lives with her mother in one of the finest suburbs in Paris. But since her father left to escape her mother’s violent temper, Sarah has had to endure her mother’s unpredictable moods and promiscuous lifestyle.
With no one to turn to or confide in, Sarah must fend for herself as best she can. On Sarah’s final holiday with her mother before finishing school, her mother’s reckless pursuit of strange men nearly gets Sarah raped.
Sarah completes her A levels and leaves for university in London, where she finally feels free to live her own life. But her mother will not accept Sarah’s departure.
With Sarah’s every step into adulthood, her mother’s reactions become increasingly extreme and sinister.
In a series of unravelling events, Sarah ends up being forced to confront the truth about her mother...


Available on
Kindle Amazon: http://www.amazon.co.uk/kindle/dp/B00CUN9T3O
Kobo: http://www.kobobooks.com/ebook/Kiss-of-Thorns/book-aYZZ_WctmU6Dd9trDxrepA/page1.html?s=F4tgJHB-3k20HlA30IVdqQ&r=1

Grandparents' rights

With over 117 000 divorces in England and Wales, the amount of grand-parents requesting contact has been rising in the UK.  At the contrary of some of our European counterparts, the UK does not give grandparents an automatic right to their grandchildren.

In a case, where the divorced parent who has child custody deliberately does not want their child to see his ex-partner’s parents and providing that the grandparents have good motives and shows respect to their ex-son or ex-daughter in-law, then the law and right for grandparents to visit their grandchild should be enforced. 

However, grandparents being foremost humans, have like all flaws and vices.

Many would feel angry with their child’s ex-partner after a divorce, this feeling of anger comes naturally as a protection for their child who has been left alone and who is torn apart. 

Others would struggle to remain objective and might not be fair-minded as they would start criticizing their child’s ex-partner, who now has full custody of the grandchildren, deliberately or not, in front of their grand-children. This would alienate the grandchildren’s and might cause emotional damage to them.

In some cases, grand-parents who are just in a bad or non-existing relationship with their own children might miss out seeing their grandchildren.  Sometimes in retirement and in order to feel that they are in control of something or someone, these grandparents feel that the only way to reinstitute or keep control of their children’s would be by requesting a contact order with their grandchildren.

In other instances, grandparents who already enjoy the right of seeing their grandchildren, but who are just unsatisfied at the frequency of visit or at the way the grandchildren are raised or who just don’t appreciate their children’s partner or also who just have huge disregard for their own children, would abuse the law and their rights by applying to the family court to have their rights enforced and written on a piece of paper. These purely vindictive grandparents wish to force their ways into their children & children partner’s lives by hurting them through a court order.

In extreme situations, some grandparents may have been very abusive parents both emotionally and physically, it is totally out of order when these grandparents try to seek contact with their grandchildren. It is hard to believe that bad parents can become good grandparents.  The danger in these cases is that the abused child does not always have a written or oral proof that his or her parents had been abusive, sometimes they find it shameful to talk about such abuse to even family members, let alone outsiders. Hence, abused children find themselves trapped in a situation where they have to have to justify their reasons behind their refusal of granting their parents’ wishes.

Good grandparents can help children to understand their roots and who they are, but only when they are good intentioned people.  

Let’s highlight that grandparents’ rights would be helpful for good grandparents who want to access their grandchildren for the right reasons, for example when their child is deceased and when they always had a good relationship with their child's partner.

Surely an adult would always want their children to spend time with their parents (grandparents) if they are good people. Otherwise if the grandparent isn’t welcomed into their grandchildren’s lives then maybe there is a good reason and this should just be respected.

Only pervasive grandparents would insist. Sometimes grandparents would make claim of mental insanity of their children, financial instability and all sort of excuses as reasons for them to keep control of their children. But most ultimately it’s all about the grandparent’s personal satisfaction and nothing to do with the best interest of the grandchild.

Lilliane Rosse

Source:
Ebook “Kiss of Thorns” by Lilliane Rosse, available on amazon kindle or kobo